Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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