Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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