Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
