yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
