Don't make out with my wife yet
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i dont even know how to be here
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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