Apparently you make a good broom.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
