Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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