I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish you could order shots online.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize