Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
