Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
