i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
