They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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