found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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