i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize