yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
