I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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