Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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