What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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