Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
