hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
