So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
