Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Found your dick twin last night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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