It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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