am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
