No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
