kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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