my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
