Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
