how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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