The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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