did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
