i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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