Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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