they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
