Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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