Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize