Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
