I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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