Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
