He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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