If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
