it hurts more in the daytime
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
