Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize