if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize