Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
