ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
