I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My liver just had a heart attack.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
