think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
