Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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