She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
