two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
