i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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