i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
