You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
