I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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