4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
