wanna go halves on a baby?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
