i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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