There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
