so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
