i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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