Come see our sink grown plant.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I FOUND THE LEGS
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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