he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
