Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
