were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
