sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
