I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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