Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
