how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
