Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
