we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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