I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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