there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
